Dear The People Remaking Shit That Should Have Been Left Well Alone,
"Hey did you hear they’re remaking... [Insert the name of every half decent film ever made here, please.]"
O film industry, what the fuck happened? When did your originality decide to piss off, reducing you to not only desperately scrambling for some book to make a half-assed adaptation of but also remaking any film that was ever even sort of maybe slightly kinda liked. And not just the ones that were made 50 years ago, no. I’m talking about the ones that were only made in the 80s and 90s!
Who told you the Karate Kid needed to be redone? And what, no seriously what in the hell possessed you redo it with Jackie Chan and Jaden Smith?
...Was this an inside joke...?
And to whoever is personally responsible for crapping up good memories of Ten Things I Hate About You by presenting that*- um, what the hell man? What was that?
I genuinely could go on for pages, but I think you get it.
Hear this, original screenplays are not illegal you know. So stop attempting to scrape whatever money you can from ripping off something good. It’s kind of pathetic. I’m feeling embarrassed for you.
One last note, if you allow Zac Efron to carry out his wishes of remaking Back to the Future, I will stop sharing your unbearable shame and just come over there and bitch-slap you.
Watch it.
*It was remade into a TV series not another film. But the show was deeply crap. So it definitely deserves to be in here.
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